Ho! Ho! Ho!

Christmas is upon us. I’m not all that chuffed about the whole affair, but oh well, I’m not mad at it either. As a friend just told me: it’s a good excuse to listen to cheesy music and overeat. I’ll take the overeating.

The cheesy music I’m not really fond of. Why do Christmas songs have to sound so damn Christmas-y? I don’t know, maybe it’s the Grinch in me speaking, or maybe I’m just bitter because I don’t know most of them and everybody does, but I’m gonna go ahead and say it: I don’t like Christmas songs.

Well, I do have a soft spot for White Christmas. I don’t know why, it’s exactly what I dislike about festive songs; but every time I think about it, I get all smiley and calm and I just think of the first time I heard it in Holiday Inn, and Bing Crosby sits at the piano and teaches the song to the lady who’s name I forgot – I want to say Linda – and he takes the pipe and klings the bells on the tiny tree on the piano, and I just think “Ooooh! That smooth motherfucker”.

So, this week, to put myself in the Christmas spirit anyway, I got together 10 recent Christmas songs I can stomach; I think I might even go as far as saying I like them. Who achieved this incredible feat and made me like a Christmas song that is not White Christmas you ask?It’s Sufjan Stevens.

He’s like White Christmas, I’m not sure why I like him so much but I do. It can’t just be because he looks like Snow White and he sings like a cute tiny kitten. Once again, I don’t know, but here we are and the man sure loves Christmas – in 2 Christmas albums, he’s made about 4 hours worth of Christmas themed tunes – so that works out for me.

Merry Christmas and with delay happy Hanukkah!

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1 – Sister Winter (Songs for Christmas, 2006)

This song sounds how I imagine warmth would sound. You can also hear what seems to be the piano stool cracking at the beginning of the song, and I do love that.

2 – Christmas in The Room (Silver & Gold, 2012)

I find this song so damn cosy. It’s about spending Christmas without the crappy mess we’re being sold and the family and all that. I think it’s really just a love song.

3 – Barcarola (You Must Be A Christmas Tree) (Silver & Gold)

Barcarola is apparently some Italian folk song type thing, it’s supposed to resemble the gondoliers strokes to make the boats go in Venice. I guess this might be one – I honestly can’t tell, but it doesn’t sound too far off to me. I can’t tell, but it’s super pretty anyway.

4 – Come On! Let’s Boogey To The Elf Dance! (Songs for Christmas)

Before drinking and making people cry on Christmas Day, cheerfully dancing to the Elf Dance is a good idea.

5 – Lumberjack Christmas / No One Can Save You from Christmases Past (Silver & Gold)

“Drinking makes it easy/The music’s kind of cheesy” he says. I guess that’s what I’ll be doing today then.

6 – Hey Guys! It’s Christmas Time! (Songs for Christmas)

Do you remember when you were a kid and you had like set bed-times and then on special days you’d get to stay up late? That’s what I’m getting here.

7 – Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It) (Songs for Christmas)

Spending that much time with loved ones is not easy. Sometimes things happen and you make grandma cry because you called her a racist homophobe or something. Well, she deserved it. Cute Christmas-y bells in that song though.

8 – Christmas Unicorn (Silver & Gold)

There is a lot happening in those 12 minutes. Stay till the end – the Love Will Tear Us Apart reprise is way cooler than you’d think – it’s worth it!

9 – Mr. Frosty Man (Silver & Gold)

It’s hard being a snowman, especially in the summer months.

10 – The Winter Solstice (Songs for Christmas)

For all of us out there non-religious folks, happy winter solstice!